BEER TALK: Surviving the Tough Economy Edition

BEER TALK is a recurring feature where two experts give commentary on the most pressing issues facing the world.  Mark (left) and Wyatt (right) will be asked to address 5 questions while having a beer.

If you have an idea for a topic that warrants its own edition of BEER TALK, tweet your suggestion to me @mattprivratsky with the hashtag #BEERTALK

(For this post, MARK was having ‘Dollar-ritas’ while WYATT had been ‘Drinkin Third street brewhouse ale, not sold on it.’)

1) How have you saved money during the down economy?

WYATT: “A penny saved is a penny earned”- Benji Franklin said that (you don’t get on the hundred dollar bill by not being frugal). I save money by not spending money; a simple time tested method for increasing wealth.  Some examples

  • Buy videogames that are 2 years old (you aren’t missing anything),
  • Cable? Psh, it’s called the internet people.
  • Buy off-brand. I am currently wearing HB brand jeans. Never heard of that brand? Me either but they’re CHEAP
  • Also being a bachelor helps, cause let’s be honest, I don’t need to impress anyone, but myself (and I’m a cheap date).

MARK: I pretty much live like Wyatt, but I just ain’t been paid science money (Editor’s note: Wyatt is technically a ‘Scientist’).  So in short, I have made peace with “smart debt”.  That’s what I call my debt to make myself feel like I am debting myself well (I’m not).  Once I DO have money however, I will save in a piggy bank. Dont mess with the classics.

2) What’s the best use of “not in this economy” you’ve heard?

MARK: Actually I haven’t heard anybody say it because I only hang with people who have always been poor.  #poorlife.  No real joke here, just an insight into my life.

WYATT: (Poor, sad, Mark…..) In the corporate world, it’s used as a catch all excuse for not doing things. Did you send that email? Not in this economy. Why were you Late? It’s just this economy, man.

3) What’s one way people could make a few extra bucks to pay the bills?

WYATT: As I always say, Mo Money Mo Problems. People can sell monchrome jumpsuits (see link), but on the realz my dad actually has a pretty chill hobby that makes a little “walking around” money (Love that phrase. Walking is free people, HELLO!). So here is the hustle:

  • hit up a bunch of garage sales, preferably in the suburbs
  • make sure you buy cool stuff, in my dad’s case: beer signs, hunting stuff, sports stuff.
  • Sort through what you bought, weed out what you think is real cool and keep it.
  • Now all the scraps, put it on craigslist or ebay, money aquired.

Pretty much like ‘American Pickers’ style. A fun, easy, system, to make stacks on stacks on stacks. This guy is much richer than you.

MARK: You gotta shark the used books box.  Scope it out at a college, grab the old science books, sell them, BOOM. I made like a grand doing that.  Nerds aren’t smart about their books and I just love dealing in the knowledge biz.

4) Who is to blame for the recession?

MARK: Cheney is the only dude who made this thing happen. The guy has a crook in his jaw and vampire blood in his heart.  Watch out kids, Cheney took your parents jobs and next he is coming for your txting.

WYATT: Agree with Mark. But I’ll just ad some buzzwords for flavor. Eurozone, supply side economics, bail out, corporate greed, China, Arab spring.

5) Where should people invest their money to make a killing once the economy turns around?

WYATT: Apparently you should invest in the stock market?! (News to me). That’s dumb. I invest all my income into commodities, wheat, corn, gold, cattle, oil, beer (beer commodities are at an all time high, trust me). I call it the ‘Settlers of Catan’ approach, it is fool proof. Also sports gambling is a good way to gain wealth. I just acquired Eric Decker in fantasy football through a sports bet and it could end up winning me the league (isn’t that right Mark?)

My lead pipe lock pick for this week is Savannah St to play spoiler vs Florida (spread is +70 points FLA). Just think, What if they did  beat Florida? You would be an instant billionaire. (Editors Note: Savannah St did NOT score a point against Florida in the afore mentioned game)

MARK: 1st: F&*^ you Wyatt.  Eric Decker will be mine once again.  Just wait until the next Portland v. Vancouver MLS Soccer match.  I would just invest it in Mark Privratsky and his great bar idea.  The bar is called “House Party”.  You walk in, pay 20 bucks, and drink all the old PBR’s and Silver Wolf Vodka you can handle.  There are drunk people jamming in the basement, shelves of track suits, lots of shotgunning, and Mark hanging on a couch.

If you have an idea for a topic that warrants its own edition of BEER TALK, tweet your suggestion to me @mattprivratsky with the hashtag #BEERTALK

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